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Allie
Disclaimer: All things QAF belong to CowLip. I take
liberties but they own them, I don’t.
Characters: All Queer As Folk characters
Pairing: Brian and Justin
Warning: Entire Thing will be NC-17. Spoilers for
like all Five Seasons.
“Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself”
May 22, 201910:16pm
Gus’ POV
I fucking hate driving at night. I haven’t technically driven
at night for two years. Of course my parents don’t know this. Hey if driving
to the empty lot a block away and sitting there for about thirty minutes gets
them off my back then so be it. If I was smart, which I claim to be, I should
have told Dad I’d see him tomorrow morning but there is no way in hell I can
wait until then. Whatever he has to tell me I need to know now, now, now.
Shit! Okay breathe that car did not almost hit me.
This driving at night thing really isn’t a big deal. It’s not. It’s fine. Really.
It’s okay…or not. I have to pull over because I can’t fucking breathe. Why couldn’t
Dad just come to the house? No, he has to stay at the most expensive hotel that’s
all the fucking way across town. Fuck!I pull off the road, flip on the hazard
lights, and just try to fucking breathe. I have to get a grip because if Dad
sees me like this there is no way in hell he’ll let me live with him in
It takes me a minute or two but I finally calm down enough to pull back into traffic, okay so it’s late and there really isn’t that much traffic, but it’s enough to freak me out a little. I really didn’t use to be this much of a freak. Driving never bothered me before…but shit happened. Shit I had no control over, not that it didn’t suck complete ass because it fucking did…suck ass.
January 1, 20171:49am
Gus’ POV
I look over at Ashley leaning against the porch his thick brown hair falling over his forehead in a way I find fucking sexy as hell, one hand wrapped around a beer bottle, the other scratching his stomach as he tries to get away from the conversation Holly Rogers has roped him into. He’s looking at me, pleading with his dark brown eyes to get the fuck over there and save him. I just laugh and he flips me off. Holly is oblivious to all this and keeps right on talking. Taking a swig of my water, there’s nothing like being the designated driver at a breeder party, I think about the first time I told Dad about Ashley. I swear he queened out for an hour on the phone afraid that I’d joined the rank of breeders marching around seeking out pussy on a daily basis. I thought it was funny so I let him think Ash was a chick for at least a week. It was the funniest thing ever. I don’t remember how I told him Ash was a guy. Come to think of it maybe it was Justin or my Moms that finally broke the news to him. He was relived to say the least. His son was a fag. I think he almost thanked god when he found out.
Draining the last of the lukewarm water I decide that it might be time to rescue Ash from the evil that is Holly. It’s funny how the girl can’t get a fucking clue. No, he will not be your boyfriend. No, he will not eat your pussy. No, he will not let you suck his dick. No, he will not be pounding your ass into the mattress later tonight, although I will be pounding his. Smirking I set down the empty water bottle on the railing and make my way over to him. I only kinda sorta push Holly aside.
“Hey. ”
He glares at me. “You’re a fucking asshole. ”
I smirk. “Funny thing about assholes…”
He pushes me back and grins. “Shut the fuck up. ”
Holly stands there completely oblivious as I drape my arm over his shoulder because he’s a short motherfucker. He might even be shorter than Justin and that’s saying something. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. ”I say.
He leans over and whispers in my ear. “We’re the only queers in Breederville. ”
I laugh and guide him down the stairs toward the car, Holly completely forgotten. This many breeders around is enough to make any fag’s dick soft. When we get to my 2016 BMW 751(not that I’m bragging because I’m totally not), which I had to park two fucking blocks away, I push Ash against it. So maybe it’s not enough to make my dick soft, but whatever. I lean forward and suck his bottom lip into my mouth before perusing a kiss. He has these really soft lips and his tongue, jesus, he knows how to use it. I push my hands into his thick brown hair and pull him deeper into the kiss. As I’m fucking his mouth with my tongue he reaches for the button of my jeans. I break the kiss. Our hot breath is visible in the cold night.
“If we don’t get in the car I’m gonna fuck you right here. ”I say.
Ash looks down the street then back at me. “So fuck me right here then. ”
I press my forehead to his and laugh. “Get your ass in the car. ”
Caressing my cheek he says softly. “Such a fucking tease. ”
We hurry into the car and I start thinking of the shortest way to get to his house because his parents are out of town at some bullshit charity event. We’re about a mile from his house when it happens. It feels like slow motion but I know it’s all a matter of seconds. I hear the twisted sound of metal on metal. The sick crunch of it all. I look over at Ash for split second before the car starts to roll.
May 22, 201910:29pm
Gus’ POV
I never saw that car. I never saw it coming, neither of us did. I
don’t remember how it felt. I only remember the sounds and that look of complete
terror on Ash’s face. If I’d known that would be the last time I’d ever kiss
Ash I would have enjoyed it more. I would have fucked him right there on
I pull into the hotel parking garage and park. I wipe my face with the bottom of my t-shirt because I know I’m crying like a fucking baby. I can’t see Dad looking like a pussy ass faggot. I have to just push these thoughts away because if I don’t I’m gonna fucking lose it and I can’t. I can’t lose it right now. This is why I don’t fucking drive at night it’s just too fucking painful.
May 22, 2019 10:33pm
Brian’s POV
Opening the suite door I grin at my boy who looks more and more like me each time I see him. It creeps me the fuck out. “Hey Sonnyboy. ”I say as I grab him by the neck guiding him into the room.
“Hey Dad. ”He looks over at Justin, who’s face is still slightly flushed with lust. “Hey Justin. ”
Kicking the door closed I notice a slight shake in Gus’ voice. “You alright Sonnyboy?”
Turning back to look at me he shrugs. “I’m fine. ”
I catch Justin eyes and he shakes his head. I take a deep drag of my cigarette and look back at Gus. “How was the drive over?”
Flopping down on the sofa he says, “I didn’t get hit by any drunk drivers. ”
I cringe. “Gus. ”
Rolling his eyes he glares at me. “Whatever, can we just get this over with?”
Justin sits down in the chair across from Gus watching me as he waits. He knows this is my news to tell. I’m in the process of stubbing out my cigarette when suddenly Gus jumps up from the couch. “Jesus fucking Christ!”I’m trapped in a bent over position my fingers pushing the cigarette into the ashtray. Turning my head I look over at Gus whose mouth is gaping open. “You fucking did it!”
Slowly I stand up right. I smirk because I always knew the boy was a fucking genius. Crossing my arms over my chest I nod.
“Holy Christ. ”Gus paces back and forth his hands clutched together.
The behavior is oddly familiar and Justin must sense it too because he’s up in front of Gus pulling his hands apart and just holding him still in the middle of the room. “Calm-”
Before Justin can finish talking Gus yanks his hands from him. “I swear to God if you tell me to calm down I’ll…I’ll…”
Enough bullshit. “Gus sit your ass down. ”
He turns to face me. “No way. I can’t believe you fucking got married. When? Who knows? What. The. Fuck. Dad?”
I look over at Justin who is slowly making his way toward the door. Walking over to Gus I grab him by the shoulders. “Sit the fuck down. ”I gently push him back down on the sofa before walking over to Justin. “You don’t have to leave. ”I say.
He shrugs. “I know. ”
“Give us a few minutes. He’s just queening out. ”
Smiling he says, “Imagine that, a Kinney queening out. I didn’t know it was possible. ”
Growling I wrap my hand around his neck and kiss him quickly on the lips. “Five minutes. ”
He smiles, pulls my hand from his neck, and kisses my palm before dropping it. He doesn’t say anything else just grabs his cigarettes and the room key and leaves. I stare at the closed door for a minute before I move to sit down next to Gus who is on the verge of a panic attack. It’s not a guess. I know what they look like even if I haven’t seen one in years.
“Gus. ”He looks over at me his eyes wide. “Do you need your medicine?”
Turning from me he props his elbows on his knees and clutches at his hair. “No, just give me a minute. I don’t have them anyway. I just need a fucking minute to process. ”
I reach for my cigarettes taking my time pulling one from the pack and lighting it. He looks over at me and I roll my eyes before handing it to him and lighting another for myself. After a few drags I say, “It’s not a big deal. ”
He narrows his eyes. “Not a big deal? You and Justin get married and it’s not a big deal? ”He stands up and takes a drag of his cigarette. “What happened to ‘we don’t need to get fucking married’ and all that other bullshit about dickless fags and Stepford husbands?”
I shrug. “It doesn’t change anything. ”
He scoffs. “Right so that’s why you didn’t tell anyone you were doing it? ”He looks at me for conformation. I just stare at him. “When did you do it anyway?”
“Last month. ”
“Last month!”He almost drops his cigarette.
“Watch what the fuck you're doing. ”I point at his cigarette which he quickly stubs out.
“Last month. ”He mumbles and starts that fucking pacing again, such a fucking drama princess.
I get up, put out my cigarette, grab him by the shoulders, and look him right in the eyes. “It doesn’t change anything, you got it? It doesn’t mean that suddenly Justin’s going to be some queer version of domestication staying home cooking dinner and cleaning the house. ”
“Yeah but it’s like…you said you’d never get married. ”
“I changed my mind. ”I shrug.
He looks at me for a minute as if he’s trying to figure me out. Good luck with that Sonnyboy. We both turn when the suite door opens and Justin walks in. He tosses his cigarettes on the table and sits down on the couch without saying a word. Gus pulls away from me and sits down in the chair. It seems he’s mellowed for now so I sit down beside Justin draping my arm over his shoulders.
“Okay. ”Gus looks up at us and smiles for the first time since he walked into the room. “Tell me exactly how all this happened. ”
Justin and I look at each other and sigh. It’s such a long fucking story. I wonder if we have the time.