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Allie
Disclaimer: All things QAF belong to CowLip. I take
liberties but they own them, I don’t.
Characters: All Queer As Folk characters
Pairing: Brian and Justin
Warning: Entire Thing will be NC-17. Spoilers for
like all Five Seasons.
You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without.
May 22, 2019,
Justin’s POV
I lie back on the bed and watch Brian’s brows furrow when he hangs up the phone. He lights a cigarette and stares out the window.
“Brian?” He turns to me and I stretch causing my shirt to expose some of my stomach. “Have I ever mentioned that I love sex on another bed?”
Stubbing out his cigarette Brian walks over to the bed. He looks down at me and then climbs over me so that he’s straddling my hips. His fingers push under my shirt rubbing circular patterns on my skin. “Really?”
I nod and smile. “Of course, I also love sex on our bed and the floor and the kitchen cou-” Before I can finish my sentence his lips cover mine. His tongue dips into my mouth and strokes across my teeth. He pulls back from me but he isn’t smiling. “Gus okay?” I ask reaching up tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.
“Well you know what a drama princess he can be.” He leans down and kisses me again softly on the lips as his fingers curl into my hair. I told him we should have told Gus about the marriage. Maybe we should have at least had him there as a witness but Brian didn’t want anyone there that we knew. “This is just for you and me.” He said. I didn’t mind per se although my Mom is probably going to be upset and I don’t even want to think about how Debbie will take it. Everyone else is just going to think that Brian has finally lost his mind.
After out first failed attempt at getting married I never brought it up again and neither did he. We both know we loved each other, that this thing we have, no matter the obstacles, is interwoven into each of us. When gay marriage was legalized in January 2016, thanks to a straight woman no less, we watched as every fag we knew lined up to say I do. We sort of just looked at each other and shook our heads. Brian has never been one to follow the crowd and come to think of it neither am I. I think we both figured that the law wouldn’t even last because that’s how it’s always been, one week it’s legal the next it’s not. It’s been that way for over ten years, why would anyone think this time was different? Three years later the law is still intact without much protest. Three years later, almost nineteen years after we met, and here we are, some place I never thought we’d be, fucking married.
The thing is I never brought it up, never even mentioned it one time. We were doing our thing by finding a way to be together within the non-parameters of our non-defined, non-conventional relationship.
April 16, 2019 8:25pm
Justin’s POV
We are sitting on the couch my head in Brian’s lap his fingers unconsciously running through my hair watching some old movie on TV. I should be at my studio working on the paintings for my next show. He should probably be in his office going over the copy for the Baker Sweet‘s account that he’s trying to land. We both should be working but here we are watching this old movie just relaxing. It’s nice. We’ve been so busy lately that we haven’t really had time to just do this. I drape my arm over his thighs and pull myself more into his lap. He doesn’t stop stroking my hair and as I press my face into his thigh I feel myself drifting off to sleep.
“I’m ready.” He says like we’re in the middle of a conversation.
I roll my head in his lap to look up at him. “What?” My voice is low and sleepy sounding.
Cupping my face he looks down at me. “I’m ready.”
“For what?” I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“To get married.”
I sit up quickly and feel the blood rush to my head. “What?”
He shrugs and leans back his eyes never leaving mine, which is how I can tell he’s serious. “I want to.”
“Why? I mean,” I push my hair out of my face. I swear if he didn’t love it this length I would cut it a lot shorter. “Brian, why do you want to get married?”
“Don’t you want to?”
I’m at a loss for words really. I haven’t thought about getting married in years. Yeah, okay I held on to that idea for about a year after we cancelled our wedding in 2005, but after being in New York for five years with out Brian and him being in Pittsburgh just as long without me it just became something I didn't think about anymore. The truth is that even though we don’t have a marriage license or rings, or any of the other conventional bullshit, our lives both personally and professionally are so entangled that it’s hard to tell where he stops and I start and vice versa.
“Well don’t you?”
“I-” What am I suppose to say exactly? What we have is working. What if getting married fucks everything up?
Grabbing my hand he pulls me toward him until our foreheads are pressed together. “What are you thinking?” His voice is soft and I can hear the worry in his tone like he’s waiting for me to turn him down.
“I’m thinking,” I say slowly closing my eyes because our faces are so close that it makes me dizzy to look at him. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
Cupping my neck he pushes me back. I open my eyes. “Fuck what up?”
“This.” I say. “You and me.”
“You think getting married will fuck us up?” He pokes his tongue in his cheek.
I huff out a half-laugh. “What made you even think about this?”
“I have no fucking idea.”
“You didn’t even drive me out to the country this time. No house? No sales pitch on how much you love me?”
He laughs and I smile. “Nope.” He says. I bite my lip afraid to even bring up the word that is lying heavy on my tongue pressing against my teeth. Brian brushes the my hair off my forehead. “Tell me what you’re trying so hard not to say.”
I almost laugh. You don’t spend basically eighteen years around someone and expect them not to know what you’re thinking or feeling. “It’s just that, you know, marriage is-” I look away and bite my lip. “It’s-” Fuck!
“Just you and me.”
I look back at him trying to decide if he means what I think he does. “Are you sure you’re ready for that Brian? I mean-”
He lays his fingers to my lips. “It’s just been you for a while now Sunshine.”
I know that’s true, somewhere in me, I know that. He hasn’t tricked since, god I can’t even remember when the last time was. The option’s been there though, for both of us and marriage, well marriage is different, at least it should be.
Getting up from the couch I move to stand in front of the floor
to ceiling windows of our loft. I gaze out to the
Brian’s arms wrap around my waist and I lean into him. “Justin,” He says into my ear, his voice soft and low, his breath warm against my skin. “We own this loft together. We’ve lived together for nine year, shit, we are bound so tight legally that’s it’s fucking insane.” He strokes my stomach. “But this way, if something happens to either one of us the law will protect what we have. No one could contest it.”
“Is that why you want to do it?” My voice squeaks even though I didn’t mean for it to.
Turning me around he places his hands on either side of my face. “That’s not my only reason.”
Somehow he doesn’t have to say anything more. Leaning in he kisses me and I kiss him back. I don’t know what his other reasons are. Is it because he just turned forty-eight? Is it because he finally wants to be monogamous? Is it because he loves me? It’s probably all those reasons and more that I can’t think of right now because his hands have moved under my shirt.
Kissing his way down to my neck he says, “You’re it for me Justin. You’re all I want. All I need.”
After that how could I say no?
May 22, 2019 10:33pm
Justin’s POV
“Hey.” His voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Where’d you go?”
“Just thinking.” I don’t say anything else. I reach up kissing him, pushing my hands underneath his shirt because I love the feel of his skin against my fingers. When he presses his body down on mine deepening our kiss I feel his semi-hard cock against my thigh. We’re about one minute from getting naked when there is a knock on the door. We part both laughing.
Pressing his forehead to mine he sighs. Huffing out a laugh I push him back. “Go let your son in.”
Getting up from the bed he pulls me up with him. Before he walks to the door he stops to light a cigarette and I straighten out my clothes. As a general rule Brian Kinney doesn’t do nervous but I can tell that he’s nervous about this. Telling everyone else, except maybe my Mother, won’t be a big deal for him, but telling Gus, well it’s a whole different thing.