Good Deed

If one more person tells you that money doesn’t matter and integrity is where the real wealth is and that a good soul makes you the richest man on earth you are going to show them which direction your moral compass points by shoving it up their ass. Spending the rest of your days behind bars would be a fucking cakewalk compared to the onslaught of congratulatory hugs and kisses you’ve received for saving the land of a thousand queers.

You’re going to have to take out a loan against your home just to afford a ticket, maybe two, to Fiji. At least there, no one knows you saved the world and you can drink and fuck and walk down the goddamned street without fanfare.

The night after, Babylon was brimming with queers just waiting to get on their knees and offer up a proper thank you. You indulged all you could. Sweaty and spent with a smile on your face, you assessed the men lining up to worship at the altar and picked only those who were worthy. It took four rounds, maybe five, for you to pinpoint that all you felt was…empty. That pissed you off until your eyes burned. So you punished three or four more willing vessels and finally came with a lot more pain than pleasure clawing out of your throat.

**

Even if the interrogation room was painted Pepto Bismol pink and the cops shaking you down were Emmett and Ted in drag, you would never, ever admit that when a certain blond brought you coffee in bed the next morning, laid on your chest and told you that he didn’t think you were a hero at all but a self-serving bastard, you nearly choked up.

It’s been five days now and you wonder when your popularity among every minority in the city will wane. You can’t pump gas without being asked to pose for a picture. Well okay, maybe they just want to shake your hand. You hate it.

You know deep down that absolutely no one should want to shake your hand for any reason at all. You’ve done nothing, nothing, to warrant the appreciation they pour down on you like acid rain. If a single one of your ignorant admirers had any clue what had come for the months, the years, before those few fateful days, they’d kick you in the shin instead of kissing your feet.

You ponder how strange it is that one sweeping grand gesture can negate a life of ball-busting, unforgiving, cold, hard, asshole. People suddenly look at you like you’re a sweet, little, furry kitten waiting to roll over and have your belly rubbed. And fuck that, you’ve spent three decades earning a reputation for ruthlessness and you are not giving it up so easily.

You make a pact to be a bigger asshole than you’ve ever been in your entire life. For the first time in over a week, you go to bed with a smile on your face.

-end-

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