And Still


I came home and just wrote this bunch of crap which I decided to turn into a few drabbles that stand alone...or don't...and I was, randomly, inspired by Dido's White Flag which was playing in Urban Outfitters tonight...it was an odd evening. I bought an umbrella and a necklace and walked a long way in the rain writing this in my head:



**********


And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still


1.

The first year goes by with, what Justin would say, is an average dose of ups and downs. Brian throws him out twice and Justin leaves twice. Each time they get back together quickly and partake in obligatory earth shattering makeup sex. Justin even thinks the second time he leaves, the fourth time he’s moved out all together, that he’s doing it just for the makeup sex.

On the one year anniversary of the day he moved in he buys a bottle of wine, tells Brian they’re running neck and neck, and then coerces him into bottoming for him...all night.

2.

Justin is 24 when he figures out that he does not want to be a commercial artist. He announces this revelation to Brian, adding that he has decided to move to New York. Brian raises an eyebrow and leaves the loft without saying a word.

Justin is in New York for 35 days when Brian appears. The sheets are scratchy, the walls are thin and there is no couch, but Brian remembers it wasn’t long ago when he couldn’t afford furniture either. And so he stays, because being with Justin is the only thing that he’s ever found truly satisfying.

3.

Their split is amicable, friendly even. And it shocks everyone who has ever known either of them. Justin moves to LA a month later and goes to work on Brett Keller’s latest flick. Brian opens new offices in London and buys a loft in Kensington less than a year later.

When Gus turns ten Brian flies to Pittsburgh to take him to see Conquest in the theater because Gus insists it is all he wants. When the credits roll Brian sits still. He waits for one name in particular and a small smile graces his lips, "That’s my boy."

4.

On Justin’s 35th birthday, pounding at his front door wakes him at 8am. Tired and hung over he answers in his underwear.

“Glasses? You’re getting fucking old.”

“Fuck you.”

“Well, I came to fuck you. But it is your birthday.”

“How many years are we going to do this?”

“For as long as you can get it up, Sunshine.”

“You have to stop chasing me eventually, it’s getting old.”

“The only thing getting old around here is you. Come on, I only have 26 hours to give you your gifts…all ten of them.”

“Ten? Ambitious even for you, old man.”

5.

When Justin gets cancer, Brian prays to a God he’s never believed in. He gets down on his knees and bargains his life for another.

When Justin goes to the hospital, he visits each night. This time, Justin knows he is there. They watch bad sitcoms and eat green Jello-O and talk about anything but sickness.

One night, Justin makes Brian write a will for him. Before that, Brian thought that loving someone was the hardest thing he’d ever done. When Justin cracks a joke about leaving Brian his ass, Brian cries for the first time since his father died.

-end-

Feedback to throughthelens78@yahoo.com