Maybe I Already Do

Gap Filler for 308
Brian and Justin’s POV
NC 17

Brian

I could state the obvious – that he is so utterly in control of what happens to us that it’s stupid. He knows exactly how to manipulate me into playing the game his way. He just gets me. He understands what makes me tick. He knows just how to wind the clock. That’s the only way I can explain how we’ve gotten back to this place – he turned back the hands and wants a fucking do-over. Lucky for him, that’s all right by me.

I knew it was all over the second I saw his face in my art department. Our little hiatus was done and the game had begun again. I made him squirm, made him work for it a little. I let him think I was over all of it and over him. I don’t know, maybe I was. Maybe I even convinced myself that I could be done with him, but then I started to see his face every day and hear his voice every day. And well, I’m far from done with him.

All the idle chatter and pretending he didn’t matter was just a way to fill the void until he finally said what he wanted. I knew he’d come right out and say he’d made a mistake. I knew he’d have to be the one to throw down his weapon first. And he did, chucked that fucking sword right out the window and then stuck his tongue in my mouth. I have to admit that kinda threw me. I wasn’t so sure it would happen like that. I didn’t know it would happen so fast.

By the time he walked into my office tonight, I was ready to start the dance all over again. I could tell by the way his hips swayed as he crossed the room that he was ready too. When he started talking, I could barely hear him speaking to me. I just watched his eyes, the upturned corners of his mouth, sensed the increase in his pulse. Then I understood what we were really talking about, or not talking about. The subtext spoke louder than the words. Finally, he fucking understands how to communicate with me.

A stupid mistake, a fall from grace
I’ve forgiven more, many times before
You had to go through that to get to this place
Now you wanna come back through this unlocked door



Justin

This isn’t how I pictured this, and trust me I’ve pictured it. I saw blue lights and silk sheets and burning need. This is totally different, but good different. It’s slow and light in a way I didn’t anticipate. There isn’t the urgency that I expected. There isn’t this hurry-and-do-it-before-we-both-explode feeling filling the room like I thought there would be. Hell, every conversation we’ve had since I walked out the door has been verbal foreplay. You would think we’d be crawling out of our skin by now.

I watch every move he makes as I negotiate our reunion. There isn’t much to say really, and I hide behind the guise of business-speak. I ask him to take me back – we both know what I mean. His eyebrows rise, his anger fades and I have to fight back a grin 'cause I know where this leads.

The tingle in my gut is starting to make me shake. He comes around the desk and sits knee to knee with me. Our eyes lock as we both slick our lips. I cross the room to the door, to shut it and give us privacy. I think how odd it is that we’d end up here. This puts a different spin on “burning the midnight oil.”

Can’t tell me you weren’t waiting
I see the truth in you
Just biding time and pacing
We both knew we weren’t through


Brian

So I tell him he can start immediately, and when he gets up to close the door I can feel my skin burn with anticipation. I won’t lie, it missed his hands and his tongue and the way he would flow over every inch of me every time we…made love.

He comes back to me, slow and sure with long, languid strides. He swings wide until he’s facing me and then closes the space between us at a painfully slow pace, drawing out the intensity of the moment. By the time I can reach for his face I'm just fucking dying to kiss him. I haven’t kissed anyone since…

Maybe I should have told you
That maybe I could have loved you
And well to tell the truth
I think that maybe I already do

 

Justin

Quit your hell-bent resistance
There’s no point in fighting this
I’m gonna fill your senses
Make your skin burn with bliss


He reaches for me just before I get to him. Can’t wait to taste me, just like I can’t wait to taste him. Slide my tongue in slow and easy, feel around and shut my eyes remembering how sweet he is. Like warm honey or ripe melon or raw sugar. I don’t know how any man can be allowed to taste like this. But it mixes and swirls with cigarettes and mint gum to create this distinct, intoxicating flavor that I’ve been dreaming about feeding on again.

I strip off his jacket and it flies over his shoulders. His eyes sparkle when he smiles at me, letting the smallest laugh trickle out of his throat. He pulls off his tie and I yank on his dress shirt. I love that he’s the one naked first.

I drink in his lightly tanned skin, flawless and firm and made to be touched. Run my hands over his shoulders, my gut is burning with lust. Trail my lips to his nipple and let my tongue tickle all of the places along the way that I know make him crazy.

Brian

All stripped down and exposed, I can finally see that this is still him and I’m still me. We still fit, we still work, we still feel just right. My hands slide over familiar territory that seems new again. I love remembering every part of him that I’d tucked away and pretended to forget. Letting it all rise to the surface is making me shake with need.

He smiles and I return it. We laugh and touch and kiss and shed our second skins. His mouth keeps running away from me, but I keep reeling it back in. I need to taste him, need to feel that this is really happening. I want it all right now, but at the same time, I could just kiss him forever. Just close my eyes and sigh and sink into his warm, sweet mouth that was made for me.

I start to feel his body boil under my touch. I can feel his blood race under the surface, in response to my tongue. I bury my face in his neck, drinking in his familiar scent. All the while remembering why I…love him.

Drag him to the floor needing his touch, his body, his allure. He shifts under me comfortably, arching his back – silently begging for more.

I’ll make you beg for mercy
Bring you to your knees
You’ll be pleading just to please me
Desire fuelling raw need

Justin


Slide my hands down his back, it’s been too long since I’ve felt the strength of his body. I haven’t had a sip of him in so long time that I’m drunk on him before we’ve even begun.

He brings us to the floor, sliding his skin over mine. Erections trapped in between us find the warm, tight space inviting. We move in slow strokes, not caring where this goes as long as we keep kissing and keep breathing and keep feeling.

I feel his body rise with urgency, folding into me. He runs his tongue over my thumb, sucking on my fingers until I’m pleading. Then he moves to my wet stomach, lapping up the pre-sex sheen. Grasping for skin, his teeth dive in, leaving his mark on me.

Mark your territory
Bite me 'til it burns
Let the bruises tell your story
Hurt me till I learn

 

Brian

Leaving evidence that he belongs to me, I use my teeth to nip and my hands to knead. He purrs under my tongue and moans under my touch. Eyes glaze over with unmistakable lust. Bet he didn’t ever fall into this trance when he was with…

Bet he saves this just for me. Not that he has to, not that he wants to. But it is what it is and I’ll even admit that it isn’t like this with anyone but him.

Sink in slow and say a prayer that we can last. But we both know it’ll be over too fast. Of course we’ve got all night for take two. Hell, we’ve got as long as we want to do what we want to do.

Watch his eyes drift closed, back arched in that familiar pose. I understand things about him that nobody knows. I see where the sun shines and I follow.

You’re a habit I don’t wanna kick
A fire I don’t wanna feed
Sink the needle in my skin
Close my eyes and breathe
Just admit you’re what I need



Justin

I let him in and he totally fills every goddamned inch of me. All the emptiness flees and finally I feel free to be who I want to be. The man by his side, giving him what he needs. Finally, I see the picture clearly.

Sometimes life is about second chances and little side-glances. Picking up on what someone else sees. It’s about going after what you need. Chase your dreams and be relentless, don’t let their defenses numb your senses. I wore down the edges of the sharpest rock and now he rolls along beside me.

I’ve made a few mistakes
Pretended I could fake it
But now I know this much
We've got a lot more than lust
I'd even call it love

End

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